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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Break My Heart for What Breaks YOURS!

The past two times I have tried to write I have completely shut down. The things I knew I was going to write about were selfish. This however I am writing because the Lord has stirred my heart and burned within me a passion. Lately my heart has been overwhelmed. Over the past few days I have been praying that God would truly break my heart for what breaks His! This happened tonight. My heart is broken, overwhelmed, I am literally in tears.

Let me first start with 1 Timothy 15:17

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen."

I am Paul, I sin daily! I deny the God in others, I struggle with lust, I struggle with self worth, plain and simple I am a sinner. These things I write aren't an attack on people, but an act of love because I see these sins in my youth and my heart breaks. God has given me a passion for youth, and I praise Him for that every day. Lately I have been seeing the choices of some of the youth whose lives I am involved in. These choices are a direct act of disobedience and sin against God! I see them struggling with things that I have struggled with in the past, and even things that I struggle with to this day! I feel so helpless. I don't know what to do. I cry out:

"Father You give me this passion, yet I feel so helpless! I don't know what to do!"

Then I realize I can do nothing. If God is going to use me to speak into these kids lives then His will be done! If not, then His will be done! God knows my passion for youth and these youth especially that I minister to. He knows their hearts. He knows my heart. Whether through me or someone else He will speak to these kids, it is their choice to accept it.

What frustrates me the most though is that we live in this mindset that our God has two characters: love, and forgiveness. Yes, those are two great characteristics of God, but what about the rest? Our God is a JEALOUS God! He HATES our sin because it separates us from Him. Did you hear me?

GOD IS A JEALOUS GOD! HE HATES OUR SIN! IT SEPARATES US FROM HIM! NOTHING ON THIS EARTH CAN BE PUT IN THE PLACE OF GOD! This Truth has been resounding in my heart lately. I want to scream it!

"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." -- James 4:17.

We have a choice everyday to choose to walk in sin or walk with the Lord. We know the good we should do, yet we choose the bad. Then we come to the alter every week and pray and ask for forgiveness. We make it all about us. We only see our God as a loving and forgiving God, and then go back out and commit the same sin again when we just asked for forgiveness. I read Matthew 4 tonight about Jesus being tempted in the desert. Jesus made a choice to resist the temptation, and to combat the devil with the Word. We can do the same, we have been given the same power! Yet we deliberately choose to put ourselves in places we know we are going to be tempted, we deliberately choose to commit the same sin we just asked for forgiveness for because our God is only one who loves and forgives. FALSE!! Our God HATES that sin!

Don't we know that if we repent and turn from the sin that God can be glorified? God can use our sin to glorify himself! This doesn't mean that we should keep on sinning so that God can be glorified. If we read Romans 3 it tells us that this is not the case. We should not keep on sinning so God can be glorified, that deserves condemnation. Yet if we truly repent, turn away, and align our hearts with God's desires for us, then He can use this sin to glorify himself. Don't believe me? Look at the life of Paul. He persecuted Christians, yet God used this sin to make him the one who was persecuted for sharing the Gospel. God turned a persecutor into the persecuted and Paul continued to praise God. He used this to speak to so many, and so many believed because of this.

I am not even sure if this is a coherent post, or just a ramble of thoughts. What I do know is that God has put this on my heart, and whether I am used to speak Truth, or someone else is then God's will be done! Father I love You. Thank you for breaking my heart for what break Yours. Thank You for truly showing me what this means. I love You Father. Forgive me for where I fall short of You! Help me to repent and turn away from the sin in my life, and make the conscious effort to choose you and follow You. Please help me to not place myself in the situations where I will be tempted. Be with me Father. Thank You for continuing to remind me that You are a jealous God, but You will never abandon me. Amen.