The End and A New Beginning

I can't even begin to describe the joy that came with today. I am going to miss this place. This will probably be my last post before I head out, because I fly out Sunday at eleven p.m. (24 hours from now).

Since I have been here, this place has become home. The first day I was here, we were greeted by a golden retriever named Hannah. Immediately I knew that I was going to feel at home here. This hospitality house has been a huge blessing. Being blessed with three meals a day, a bed to sleep in, air-con, (what everyone calls air conditioning here) and just a family of brothers and sisters, has been amazing. I am really going to miss this family that God has given me here. These relationships that have been formed, will be sorely missed. As I have constantly been reminded though; God takes people in and out of your life for a reason. If it is God's will, I will be here again, and if not I know I will see my brothers and sisters in heaven.

Today started with going to watch the guys indoor soccer game. They were down 7-1 and almost came back. They lost 7-6. Even to see the happiness on their faces after loosing was humbling. Yes, they lost a close game, but they didn't let it ruin their day. I am such a competitive person that a lot of times when I loose it can affect my mood. It was great to see them know that it is just a game, and go and enjoy the rest of their day. After the game we went to get ice cream at Lucky Burger, and then went to hang out at the guys house. I played a little Halo 2 and then took a nap. I swear, I have taken more naps here than I have in the past two years of my life! It was good to rest and relax. We then went and took a boat ride from five-thirty to seven-thirty. It was all of the Asian Hope guys and girls, with Dan and his family, and then our team. It started raining, but that didn't stop us. We all hung out, ate ham and cheese or pb&j sandwiches, and just enjoyed each others company.

I got some time to just sit back and observe everyone. Seeing constant joy, laughter, smiles amongst everyone really made me happy. At the same time I began to become sad. I know that really soon I will be leaving this family of brothers and sisters. These relationships and bonds with my brothers and sisters in Christ that have been formed here are going to be hard to leave. I guess it is a lot sadder leaving here because I knew that I would be coming back to the states and I would see everyone there again. I have no idea if I will ever see these guys or girls again. That is hard to think about. I know that God will never cease to continue moving in each and every one of their lives.

Father, I thank you for this opportunity you have given me. I thank you for constantly showing up and being here through the good and the bad of this trip. I thank you for the strength to endure! I thank you for every brother and sister in Christ you put in my life through Asian Hope, and I pray that you would constantly be with them day in and day out. I have seen you in them every day and I know you will always be with them. I praise you for the amazing things you are going to do in their lives. Give us safe travels Father as we leave and go back home to the States. Thank you again for this opportunity to serve you with the gifts and talents you have given me. Thank you for constantly humbling me and showing me Your will! I love you Father.

--Discerning the Call
Chase Fallin

Making the Most

I have a little less than 48 hours left in Cambodia. Although we have such little time left here, it still seems like people are still arguing, disrespecting each other, and just being selfish. Conflict is going to happen, but I am just sick and frustrated with it all!

"My advice is to make the most out of your time left! Put all your energy, even if it is running low, into the people in Cambodia and that will take the focus off the group and all their problems. Let them deal with their own problems and they can be too busy wrapped up in that and miss out on the last few amazing experiences Cambodia has to offer."

Thank you Susanna. Your message was really encouraging, and that was definitely truth that I needed to hear. While yesterday I was focused on people's frustrations with each other and people being selfish I decided to forget it all today. Instead I watched as kids, who literally have almost nothing, smile, laugh, play, and have fun. I watched them forget any worries or troubles and play basketball, soccer, and just run around carefree. I am definitely beginning to respect those who do childrens ministry. Little kids can wear you out! I definitely respect those who have the heart and the calling to do that. It has also further shown me that my calling and passion is youth ministry. While I love little kids and playing and talking with them, it is something I know I couldn't as my job. I struggled trying to tell the kids the story of Noah's Ark today. I laughed at myself as well because most people could just do it, and make it a fun thing for the kids. All I could do was just read it from the Bible. It was very humbling to know that there are things that I am not gifted in and others are, and vice versa.

After we finished with "The Carnival" for the little kids we ate and I went to the LOGOS guys house to hang out. We watched a movie, I got schooled in ping pong by David (who is a lot better than he leads on), and I played some old school Halo 2 with them. It was good just to relax, laugh, joke, and just hang out with the guys. I am really going to miss hanging out with them when I leave. I know that God is definitely in those relationships that were formed. Just getting to know every one of these guys and girls has been amazing. God has taught me so much through them, and to see them constantly happy no matter what is so very humbling. Literally I can't tell you one day where I have seen them mad, or upset, or frustrated. They always have a smile on there face, and are always speaking positively. That is something HUGE to see. I know that there are a lot of little things in my life that I have constantly complained about before, and still do at times. These guys and girls though hardly ever complain, and do everything with a smile on there face. So humbling.

Tonight we went to Dan and Carolyn's house to celebrate Fanny and Tia's birthday. We had signed cards, and Mrs. Carolyn had got a cake made for the both of them. All the guys and girls were there. We all played Dutch Blitz, ping pong, talked, and laughed. It is amazing to see how Dan and Carolyn have become like a mother and father to these kids. There passion is definitely for these Asian Hope boys and girls. After we left there, we went back to Big Mikes to watch USA play Slovenia. Tie 2-2. USA definitely should have won though. It was good to just enjoy my last few days here and have fun watching soccer and hanging out with a few of the guys.

Tomorrow we get to go root on the guys in another indoor soccer game for their tournament. I am going to miss all of the guys and girls, and even though I have 48 hours left here, God is still moving through these relationships with these kids. I praise God for constantly reminding me of my call to youth ministry, and constantly teaching me through youth and others.

--Discerning the Call
Chase Fallin

Persecution

I have been in Kampong Thom province since Monday, and just got back around 6 pm today! This province was three hours away from Phnom Penh. These two and a half days there were really a struggle for me. I am just exhausted. Plain and simple. Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally I am spent. I need time to relax and reflect on what God has done here and the ways He is working. I know that I really won't get that until I fly back, in four days, on Sunday.

Today what I have on my heart isn't really personally about what I saw while we were in Kampong Thom. What I have on my heart is a verse I read today on the way back. It comes from 2 Timothy.

"This is my gospel, for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God's word is not chained. Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory." --2 Timothy 2:8-11

It was my turn to talk tonight at group meeting. I could tell about where God had shown up today, or ask a question just basically whatever I wanted. I decided to read this scripture and ask the question, "Where have you suffered, or been persecuted for your faith?" Since we have been here, I haven't really felt persecution for my beliefs. Most of the people we interact with on a daily basis know God, and are striving to have a relationship with Him. That is one expectation I had coming here as well. I wanted to do street ministry, I want to take the word to those that are persecuted for sharing it. That expectation just like ever other was shattered.

Now Paul and the apostles were repeatedly beaten, whipped, and persecuted not only physically but with words as well. A lot of times, myself included, limit persecution to being beaten or physically hurt for sharing the news of Christ, but that is narrow minded. We can be persecuted with words as well. Many people persecuted Paul by speaking against him and speaking lies about him to the churches he was writing to. As much as Paul was persecuted, he doesn't tell us to give up! He tells us God's word is not chained. He also tells us that he endures everything so that others may obtain salvation in Christ Jesus. While it is easy for us to get discouraged or say someone is lost and give up on them, that is not what we are called to do! Anytime we speak to the lost, or even believers, (because we even have a hard time being called out) it is going to be hard. We may be persecuted, whether we are beaten with clubs or with words. We may be mocked, laughed at, spit upon, but we are called to endure. It comes back to the basic truth that we have been taught since we were little: "We are all children of God." Therefore we endure persecution so that our brothers and sisters may know the good news, so that they may receive salvation.

Father I pray for my brothers and sisters who are persecuted daily. Father I pray that they would constantly be reminded of your Truth to bless those who persecute us (Romans 12:14). Father I pray you would give them the strength and endurance to persevere in times of struggle or persecution. Father I pray that you would constantly encourage them by your word. There are people all over the world who are suffering for you! Show them how to rejoice in their suffering! Give them strength father, give them endurance. I love you Lord!

--Discerning the Call
Chase Fallin

Blessed are the Merciful

For the past two weeks we have attended church at LOGOS. It has been amazing, and the pastor there has been speaking on the beatitudes. For those of you who don't know what they are look in Matthew 5:1-12. This pastor is someone I have come to admire and respect just by listening to two of his sermons. The way he preaches is very humble, and you can see the fire and passion he has in his heart for God. He cares so much about his congregation as well! Today he spoke on Matthew 5:7: "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." It was really good to hear him expand on this. Although these beatitudes are simple things, there is more to them than just the words. There is context, and there are other Scriptures to back it up.

What is mercy? Anything good that comes to us from God is mercy, and every human being on this planet is a recipient of God's mercy! "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." --Romans 6:23 We all sin, so every breath we take, and every moment we live is mercy given to us by God! Mercy is not justice! Mercy, unlike justice, can never be deserved or earned. The merciful will be shown mercy. Jesus wasn't explaining how to receive mercy, but He was speaking of those who were already merciful.

In Matthew 18:21-35 we have the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant. This servant owed his master ten thousand talents. It is said that Rome taxed a small city 600 talents. So you can only imagine how much money it was, millions of dollars. This servant was shown mercy, yet he did not show mercy to another servant that owed him only a hundred denarii. This was nothing compared to what he owed, yet he sent the other servant to prison. Just because you receive mercy does not mean you are merciful! In Matthew 18:32-35 it tells us:

Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Verse 35 literally shook me to the core when I heard it. It scared me. I thought about the times I haven't truly forgiven those who have wronged me. I may have said I have forgiven them, but truly I didn't. It is not enough to do merciful things though. These beatitudes are not just a checklist, but we should make them apart of who we are in Christ!

GOD HAS BLESSED US WITH EVERY ONE OF OUR SPIRITUAL GIFTS! IF WE ARE NOT GROWING IN MERCY, WE HAVE FAILED, NOT GOD! These messages are so simple, yet so deep and something that we forget about every day! It is so humbling to be reminded of these things. God is alive! Father I praise you for your wonderful servant, and thank you for the words You spoke through him. They were definitely Your words, and not his. I praise you for the Truth that you spoke and continue to speak through him. Thank you for showing up and speaking to me. Thank you for challenging me in this! Continue to challenge us everyday!

--Discerning the Call
Chase Fallin

Loved, Blessed, Encouraged

Wow. Where to begin talking about today? Today was just a steady stream of encouraging conversations. Although physically I haven't been feeling up to par, (just a headache and my ankle being hurt) that hasn't affected my day at all. We woke up this morning and went to watch Tia, Krumm, Hock-Lee, David, Jonathon, Veassna, and Pov play their indoor soccer game. It was so fun to watch the constant, fluid motion of the way that they played. They were all very skilled, and it was so cool just to cheer them on and watch them play. They won 5-4!

We went back to the Sanctuary, ate lunch, and then headed off to the Asian Hope elementary school to paint again. We finished one of the rooms, and then got the other two about 3/4 of the way done. Rebecca and I had some good brother and sister time again just to talk and laugh. It am so blessed to have her on this trip, and just overjoyed that God has blessed me by putting her in my life. We just constantly encouraged each other. We are both missing home a lot, but know that we can't focus on home just yet, and that God still has us here for seven more days! I then opened up two prayer letters today. One of them was from Will and was supposed to be opened on this day, and the other was from Cynthia. It was so encouraging to read both of them and they both spoke truth into what I have been struggling with lately.

I will start with Wills first. Will let me just tell you that the words you write have been so encouraging. Constantly encouraging! It is so awesome to see how God uses these letters as well. Every time I have read one of your letters, it has always pertained to what God is showing me, or what is going on in my life. I was really encouraged by your advice. Thank you for reminding me that God will answer my prayers for rejuvenation. I have felt really drained lately, but God has definitely given me the strength to continue to seek Him, and live it out. Thinking about home has been on my mind lately, but you are right. "Every single day is a gift. God numbers them and hands them out- live out the Spirit." Even though I am on the last leg of the trip, I have to live out and seek Truth day by day. Thank you!

Next Cynthia! I really should have read this letter two nights ago on the 10th like I had scheduled it out, but I forgot. It really spoke to the situation that happened. I really wanted to go to the LOGOS boys house, but God had different plans. In your letter you wrote: "We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. God will constantly crossing our paths and canceling our plans. Not our way, but God's way must be done!" I make a lot of plans for myself in my life, but often times that is changed. Just as I wanted to go to China at first, but God called me to Cambodia. Thank you for reminding me of that and humbling me in that. I love both of you so much, and am glad God has blessed me with both of you!

We then went to eat at Pizza Company tonight and I got to see John and Joseph again. It was really good to see them again, and just catch up and talk. It had been about a week and a half since we had seen them last. Joseph really encouraged me in my writing. Lately I have been feeling like the things that I write have no importance or significance at all because we have the same routine everyday. Joseph really helped me to see otherwise. "A lot of what youth ministry and mission work is living in the valley. Yes, we do have those mountaintop experiences and that is great, but a lot of times we are in the valley, and we aren't always going to see what God is doing. He is there, and He is moving!" Thank you Joseph! I really appreciate the encouragement, and am so glad that God put you in our teams life!

After that I came back to the Sanctuary, and then had a great conversation with Dan's wife Carolyn. I was just constantly encouraged by her, and she told me that she had really seen God moving in me and working through me. That it was good that I had been there just to be friends to these kids. She just asked me a lot about my family, and how they had dealt with me coming to Cambodia, and I just got to tell her a little about myself. She is very wise, encouraging, and definitely a mother not only to her own children, but to these LOGOS boys as well.

For now, its time to go watch USA beat England in some soccer. The game starts at 1:30 am here, and so we are probably going to be up until 3 am! Good thing church is at 11:30. Thank you all back home for the prayers and encouragement! I appreciate all you praying for me, my team, and just constantly thinking of us. I love you all!

--Discerning the Call
Chase Fallin

Always Being Taught

I thought of home a lot today. I don't really know why, I guess its because we only have eight days left and reality is setting in that we are eventually going to have to leave. It isn't at all selfish in the fact that I am ready to leave this country. I love it here, and this trip was definitely a blessing from God. I still have eight more days though, so in no way do I plan on consuming my thoughts with home. I do miss my family the most though. I can't wait to see them, and share with them all the things God has done, and will continue to do.

Today started out just as every day this week has. Prayer at 7:30, then a wonderful breakfast (always!), then off to the Transform Asia School. Today was our last day there. It was really sad to say goodbye to these kids today, and knowing that we are probably never going to see them again. I will never see fully what God did through us at this school, but I know He moved through all of us. He definitely moved through the LOGOS kids. They were always there to bring a smile to a kids face, or comfort them if they were sad or crying. The realization of how much impact you can make on a kids life just by being present, is something God has definitely taught me while working here. These dump site kids definitely had joy on their face every day when we walked in the door. Being the Sociologist that I am though, makes me wonder what they are going to think when we don't show up Monday.

After we got done working, Kevin, Josh Riggs, and myself went to play basketball with the LOGOS guys, and some of the teachers from LOGOS as well. The first two games I played, I was a little rusty. Today definitely went better than yesterday though. I was being competitive while just having fun playing, and by the third game I was making shots and playing well. Well, that was until I sprained my ankle. Don't worry mom. If you read this, it is only swollen a little and I am icing/taking care of it.

Tonight went really well. Once again God is teaching me so many things. Being patient last night opened up the opportunity for us to go hang out at Dan's house tonight. We ate dinner at the Sanctuary, and then headed over to Dan's house. There we had ice cream, played Dutch Blitz, and played some Mafia as well. Relational ministry! I am constantly taught patience through everything, and am constantly humbled every day! As for the next eight days, I am excited to see what God has in store for us here and in the provinces. We leave for the provinces on the 14th and come back the 16th. For now though I have a fun filled soccer day tomorrow! Watching the LOGOS indoor game at 9 am, watching the World Cup Korea vs Greece game around 6 pm, and then going to Big Mikes to watch the United States vs England game! Now its time for some sleep.

Constantly Learning

Frustrated, upset, impatient, these can all be words that I use to describe myself. I am very much like this all the time. It is much harder to be calm, and patient especially when things don't go your way.

This morning and afternoon was great. It was probably the most relaxing day of work we have had yet, and I think it is because they are running out of things for us to do. That is a good thing though! The guys from LOGOS didn't show up until about 11:30 because they woke up early to go get their liscenses. The brought us some phenomenal doughnuts when they got their, and then we all ate lunch. Tia and Hock-Lee came and sat down immediately beside me. Hack-Lee pulled out a World Cup bracket and we started looking at it and planning what games we were going to watch, who we were rooting for to win, and how the bracket worked in general. I really enjoy hanging out with these guys. I am very much a relational ministry person. I believe in forming relationships, and ministering through loving through those relationships. I get really frustrated when that doesn't happen, or when the opportunity presents itself and something else gets in the way.

We left the school at 3:30 today, and walked back to the Sanctuary. Dan then drove us to LOGOS to play soccer. Kevin, Fanny, Abby (Dan's daughter) Alex, Charles, Josh Riggs, Dan, and I played a game of basketball first. Then the boys showed up around 5:30. Krum, David and Jonathon (who are twins), Charles, Alex, Josh Riggs, Keivn, and I then played a game of indoor soccer on the basketball court. I loved it. I got to exercise today, and actually make myself sore. Afterwards the guys scrimmaged for their match they have on Saturday. I left to go get cleaned up, and was invited by David to come to eat and hang out at the guys house. I agreed because I thought our meeting was at seven, and I could head over there at eight.

Wrong. Enter Frustration.

We didn't sit down to eat until seven-thirty and didn't start meeting until eight. Which meant we weren't going to get out of meeting until nine or later. They lock the guys house up at nine and then they have to be in bed by eleven. Immediately I became upset. Like I stated earlier, when things get in the way of, or stop me from relational ministry I get upset. My attitude just changed. We aren't just called to work with these kids for two-three hours and then not see them again until the next day. I was personally invited to come hang out, and then I just don't show up because we have team meeting.

"Be patient"
God its a team meeting, this is ridiculous.
"You want to have relational ministry? How can you if you don't know my children?"

What do you mean? Then I thought for a second. It was Melissa's night to share her testimony. This is just as important. Building relationships with my team members is just as important as well. Krystle also reminded me before group started that we ate with the kids last night, I played soccer with them today, I am palying basketball with them tomorrow, we are going to watch their soccer match Saturday morning, we are watching the World Cup Korea vs Greece match Saturday night, and all grilling out at Dan's house Sunday. Okay God, thank you. I was really encouraged to hear Melissa's testimony. She has been through so much, and the way she depended and continues to depend on God is so encouraging. She is such a wonderful daughter of Christ!

Fanny and I had a conversation about my frustrations tonight, and she really spoke a lot of Truth into me. It was definitely something I needed to hear. "Just by hanging out with these kids, you are doing something. A lot of them have a lot of hurt in their lives and aren't going to just open up immediately. Relationships take time. They don't happen over night." She also told me she could take me to the guys anytime I wanted to go! Thank You God for putting Truth into my life when I doubt or am upset. Thank You for constantly teaching me, growing me, shaping me, and molding me to be a better servant for You. I love You Father.

--Discerning the Call
Chase Fallin