Routine

It has been a while since I last posted (10 days to be exact) and I was thinking to myself why I didn't have the motivation to blog? I mean so many things have been going on in my life the past two weeks. I think the main reason is that I had made this routine. This was supposed to be my quiet time with God to reflect on what He has constantly done in my life. Yet lately it seemed like I was typing this to see who would comment on it, or if anyone would comment at all.

"I don't know what to write, and I don't want to write just to do it. I don't want this to just become routine." -- Matt Martinez

Gosh I love our conversations. I don't necessarily think that each time I post there is going to be some wonderful magnificent miracle that has happened in my life. When I do post though, I want it to be my quiet time with God. Lately I have been constantly trying to stay in a prayerful state of mind. I want to treat each situation like that, and have every word I speak aloud, or to someone else to be in that prayerful state. It is a hard thing to do. As good as praying every night is, it can also become routine. I have started to constantly strive to have a prayerful state of mind all the time. No that doesn't necessarily mean I am praying 24/7, but what it does mean is that when concerns are lifted up, if I am about to go into a meeting, have surgery, or if I am just sitting down one-on-one with someone, I treat that with a prayerful state of mind. I may pray during, before or after. I don't just pray about it then and forget about it, but with an entire community full of people it is hard sometimes to remember everyones requests, or praises.

It is not about always praying either. Sometimes its just listening for God. We are constantly moving, talking, going, but when do we take time just to listen? Yes prayer is good, but if you are constantly talking, you are never going to hear God. I am really trying to discern God's plan for my life right now, and yes I am in constant prayer about it, but its the times when I sit back and listen to God is when I discern the most.

I had a job interview this past weekend for a church in Abernathy, TX. If many of you don't know it is a little town about 20 minutes outside of Lubbock, TX. I interviewed for the full time youth pastor position. I know God opened this door for me and gave me the opportunity to do this. It was a great experience for me and the interview went phenomenally. I don't want to get into all the details, but if you want to know just call and ask me. What I do want to share though is my conversation I had with God at Midnight Worship in Lubbock the night before my interview. I knew that I needed to be still and quiet and listen to God, so I prayed for about 3-5 minutes and then just knelt down in the back and listened.

This conversation isn't out loud. I hear God through the constant thoughts going into my head. I don't know how to explain it other than that. I think something and I hear a reply through another thought. God communicates with people differently, and this is just the way His Spirit communicates with the Holy Spirit that dwells inside of me:

Father is this job something you want for my life?
"You have been knocking haven't you?"
Yes, Father I have, but....
"Good. Keep knocking."
But am I going to get this job?
"I am not going to reveal that to you now."
Why?
"Be patient my Son, my timing is not yours. Remember that and be patient!"
It is so hard though.
"My child, have I not taught you patience? You have been called to missions and youth ministry for 4 years! I will reveal this to you in my timing. Just keep knocking."
I burst into uncontrollable laughter.

I am a child. An impatient child. An infant at times. I can't limit God. I had a good talk with Becky Clark (the assistant director of the Wesley). She challenged me to listen to God and to discern what He wants. She also challenged me to think about juggling school and a full time ministry position because it is something she has done. "When you are doing school work you feel guilty because you want to constantly be involved in this ministry. On the other hand when you are doing your ministry, you know you have your obligation to school and that you have to get that done." She also told me: "Remember John 15? God may have opened this door for you to remind you of your call. You need to discern what God wants." CHALLENGED!

So now it is time to listen. TIme to discern. 4 days until Cambodia!

-- Discerning the Call

Chase Tanner